Do you only know "감사합니다"? Beware, you might be 'saying the wrong thing' in Korea!

Are you like this too?

Watching K-dramas and following K-pop idols, the first Korean phrase you probably picked up was "감사합니다 (gamsahamnida)". And you thought, "Nailed it! It's just 'thank you,' how hard can it be?"

But soon you'll realise, things aren't that simple. Idols say "고마워 (gomawo)" to their fans during live streams, and close colleagues on variety shows say "고마워요 (gomawoyo)".

Why does a simple "thank you" have so many variations? Have I been using it wrong all this time?

Don't panic. It's not that you haven't learned the language well; it's because you haven't grasped the interesting 'unwritten rules' behind how Koreans express gratitude.

Imagine Saying 'Thank You' as 'Dressing Up'

Let's forget about complicated grammar and honorifics for a moment. Imagine a simple scenario: you're stepping out, and you need to pick an appropriate outfit.

Would you wear the same outfit to meet a client, have dinner with friends, and just lounge at home? Of course not.

To meet an important client or an elder/senior, you'd put on your most presentable suit or formal attire, showing respect.
If you're heading to a casual eatery with friends, you'd slip into a comfy T-shirt and jeans, feeling relaxed and at ease.
For a dinner with colleagues you know well but aren't super close to, you might opt for a 'business casual' shirt – polite yet not overly formal.

In Korea, saying 'thank you' is exactly like 'dressing up'. Which word you choose depends on your relationship with the other person and the level of respect you wish to convey.

It's not about right or wrong; it's about what's 'appropriate'.

Your Three 'Thank You' Outfits: Dress for the Occasion

Now, let's explore the three 'thank you' outfits you should always have in your 'wardrobe'.

1. “Formal Wear”: 감사합니다 (Gamsahamnida)

This is the first 'outfit' you likely learned, and it's the safest one. It's like a well-tailored black suit – you can wear it to any formal occasion, and you'll never go wrong.

When to wear it?

To elders, your boss/superior, or teachers.
To any stranger – for example, shop assistants, drivers, or passers-by you ask for directions.
In very formal settings like public speeches or interviews.

In a nutshell: When in doubt, this is your safest bet. It's your 'formal wear' for expressing the highest respect.

2. “Casual Wear”: 고마워 (Gomawo)

This is your most comfortable, relaxed 'loungewear'. You'll only 'wear' it in your most intimate, casual relationships.

When to wear it?

To your best friends, close pals, or buddies.
To your younger siblings, or juniors/subordinates you're very close to.
To your partner or significant other.

Important Note: Never say "고마워" to elders or strangers. It would be like showing up to a business negotiation in your pajamas – extremely rude and presumptuous.

3. “Business Casual”: 고마워요 (Gomawoyo)

This is the most nuanced, yet also the most frequently used 'outfit'. It falls between 'formal wear' and 'casual wear,' conveying politeness with a touch of closeness.

When to wear it?

To colleagues or seniors you know but aren't very close with.
To neighbours, or the owner of your regular coffee shop.
To online friends who are slightly older than you, but with whom you share a good rapport.

The '요 (yo)' at the end of "고마워요" is a magical syllable. It acts like a buffer, making the tone softer and more polite. Remove it, and it becomes the intimate "고마워"; change to an even more formal ending, and it becomes the more distant "고맙습니다".

It's Not Just About Words; Your Demeanour Matters Too

Beyond wearing the right 'outfit', your accompanying demeanour is also crucial. In Korea, when expressing thanks, a slight nod or a bow is an essential 'accessory'.

When saying "고마워" to a friend, a relaxed nod is sufficient.
When saying "감사합니다" to an elder or a superior, a more sincere, shallow bow from the waist is expected.

This small gesture can instantly elevate your expression of gratitude, showing that you are well-mannered.

Don't Fear Mistakes; Sincerity Always Comes First

Reading this, you might feel, "Oh my goodness, saying thank you seems like such a chore!"

However, looking at it differently, this is precisely the charm of the language. It doesn't just convey information; it also expresses subtle respect and emotions between people.

Initially, you might find it hard to remember or might mix them up. No worries; Koreans generally understand you're a foreigner and won't be overly critical. The key is that you begin to recognise these distinctions and are willing to learn and understand the culture behind them.

And when you start trying to engage in deeper conversations with Korean friends, bridging language and cultural barriers, a powerful tool can make things much simpler. For instance, a chat app like Intent, with its built-in AI translation, can not only help you convey your meaning accurately but also help you understand these cultural nuances, giving you more confidence in your chats and avoiding the awkwardness of 'wearing the wrong outfit'.

Ultimately, whether you say "감사합니다" or "고마워", the most important thing is always the sincerity behind your words.

Next time you say 'thank you', perhaps take a moment to think: 'Which 'outfit' should I wear today?'